Pregnant stripper...not hot.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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