I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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