I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize