And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
