don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
