Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
