Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
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Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
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He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha