apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.