if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.