um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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