i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
