hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
