woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
