There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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