i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
