It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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