Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
