Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize