Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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