I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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