He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
