Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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