You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I am available for nakedness
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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