I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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