CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Did I show you my penis last night?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
