He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
