How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
