Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
