Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
