His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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