Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
