You can't motorboat a personality
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize