come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
