So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
