I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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