Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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