just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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