Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
