Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
