I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
