Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
