playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My life is pants optional.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
