you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
