It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
