Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
