I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
