Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
