I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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