I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
