Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
