I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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