do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
