i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
