Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize