He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
