Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
