I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
