My friends, they love my intelligence
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize