its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
