ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
