do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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