just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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