she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
