Nicole vs. Life
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
