You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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