Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
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I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
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Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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